matthews blurbs

I'm back?.?

2010-08-19T08:34:00.001-07:00

well that really depends on where I was and where I'm going no?
well as of late in my life I have yet to discover the really meaning of "ME".
and therefore have spent a good portion of my time trying to discover that for myself.
and the way I did that was by being free and open to everything that the life offers and live.
I walked through the street of san fransico, and L.A. I ate dinner under the stars of texas.
and I danced and swam naked in south carolina. and so far my life has not been what I
-thought it would be.

my best friend camille, is now pregnant and engaged, my mom and dad are renewing their vows in november in hawaii [cliche (:] and all hopes of my dream to be in new york and make it seem soo soo.. so abnormal, as if the crazy hecktick life that I wanted, the one full of adventure and endless travel just seem to be so offsetting and to unstable, like as if sometime between than and now i lost my drive my creative edge, my natrual prowess and even this, what I'm doing now seems so ubrupt and so wild to me now.
and using these colors for the text is abit unsettling with me because it relishes the fact that I'm becoming a boring gay.. and you see I cant even finish that sentence becasue I dont know if I'm still a teenager or a adult, and thats maybe why it's soo unsettling, to me. maybe i just gotta be like aI was and be able to drop everything and go do something so wild so extraordinary and just say "FUCK IT" and just be free. so thats what I'm gonna do. :)

time seems like forever..

2010-03-31T07:17:00.000-07:00

he asked me for time yet i dont know how much he needs, im fully surprised by my faults and greeds. for the wanting and the needing of his words that are meant for me. why is it that when things are good and i mean real good, i always tend to fuck them up...

how little these eyes are sparred from tears

2010-02-02T01:11:00.000-08:00

I wake and I'm fully ashamed.
I speak and I'm fully disgraced.
How far I fall without you.
How my eyes stay bloodshot from the heavy crying.
How my pillow remains soaked with your final trace.
Death comes quickly to those sparred by their lover's embrace.
A heavy intoxicating elixir remains clasped in my hands the heavy burning cigarette fumes and burns my eyes.
In the end, its my only demise.
Ill perish forever without you.
How little a stupid boy knows about love, for he remains clasped and controlled by the heavy lesson books he loves so dearly.
Hope the end has come, for it mocks u queerly.
Death, death, death..... dead no more is my pain.
I love, but I guess I must. Wait.
Bye

come with me and ill show you with russian sex and love

2010-02-01T03:16:00.000-08:00

Its 418 and I'm still not asleep....WTF!!!!! Ugh!!
All I can do is hope for the best.....yeahy I kept closing my eyes for awhile yes!!!
I knew thos would do the trick...:]
Goodnight I do love you.
..
...
Muah

replacement of self

2010-01-30T18:51:00.000-08:00

Ok ok so my phone is in....and I'm extremly excited over this fact yeahy yeahy ;] ahh but besides the point I can finaly blog.......
But I'm going to get carried away with this unless I start. So this week was majorly epic for a few reasons one being that I got a A in my sexuality class ;] yup yup than I got a C[plus] in my astorlogy class but that ain't a reason just that I really wanted to say that lol.[laugh.out.loud] so I went to my old highschool for a little vist and stayed there in theatre class watching the kids perform alice in wonderland its looking rahter good and I'm looking forward to going to opening night with camille, and that's the biggest news I have yes camille and I are talking again lol a lot she apperantly is rahter special and not doing much other than work which is good lol awww but I have to get started on my homework and and than get ready for bed and tomorrow I got school and work so goodnight and I love you ;] muuuaaaah!!!!!

i havent really been honest

2009-12-29T12:28:00.000-08:00

okay so this has to be very short or rather short just becuase I havent got much time.
but here goes.

so the other day i ruined my streak i havent smoked in nearly a 6 months and it would rather have been a 7 if not for this amazingly great looking guy who looked at me and said "hey you wanna bum one?" and ok I would have said "no, i dont smoke thank you though." but you as well as I know that when a cute guy says "hey you wanna bum one?" you dont say that, you say "yeah of course, do you got a lite?" ;] well at least thats what I" said....UGH! I feel very very guilty but not much I can do about that other than sit here and complain about it. UGH!!

oh well I am getting over it, but i just realized that I havent had a boyfriend in nearly three months, which is long...I want one but cant seem to really find anyone worth me, giving myself to no one that is around me that is...oh well I guess this is all I can muster in the shortest time possible I know I havent posted in year[s.] hahahaha.....but alas I havent much the time as of late but I promise that someday i might hopefully sooner than later am I right.... ;]

bye love ya.....[MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!]

to understand me, you gotta be me.

2009-12-29T10:16:00.000-08:00

let us be.
let me give in to my secrets my dreams and my fantasies.
I want you so bad i might as well see how far your willing to go with me.
you tell me to stop.
I say lets keep going.
man your pants are so annoying.
I am fashion.

you hold me close so no one can hear,
you tell me hey love you look so dear. I want you oh so bad.
I tell you dont look so sad.
if you play your cards right you just might end up with me.
you say boy dont play.
I say you might not be able to handle me.

your so divine in you class act you dont really want me but i dont hold back.

you hide the liquir and stash the smokes.

baby i say you just wont let go.

i strike a matcfh and watch it burn cause when the flames end you get burnt.

so I'll pack my things and head on out.

casue once I leave you cant scream and shout.

oh baby you do realy care. or else you would not have choked when I said i loved your hair.

maybe I'll stay cause I love messed up love triangles.

cause it aint no fun when your just with ONE.....

(in life)

2009-12-16T12:37:00.000-08:00

(in dream)
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
I find that your breath irrates me now.
that the simple words that you say make me revolt in agony for even considering that we might be even friends.
be gone and don't dare turn back there are to many tears shed on my blanket and pillow spread.
you might have thought of me as some one weak or useless but dare i say it your the weak one.
you can barely say i love you, let alone i like you.
how is it that you have that wicked smile imprinted on your face, those savage eyes invoke no trace.
your like a monster with a sweet poison, that lures me in.
no more I have tasted the bitter sweet moment that i have always waited for you no longer.
I am strong.
my eyes are hazed while you say things much to fast for me to catch.
damn you i love you my angel and my sin damn how much i love you, but no more, can i say those words with out crying.
i have promised no more tears from now on.
i am strong.
and you must be gone.
...
...
...
...
(in revolt)
...
...
...
...
I have passed.
I have withered.
I am no longer whole.
No longer am I alive.
I'm no longer waiting, no longer wanting. just barely passing.
barely breathing, barely awke.
My eyes have lack of purpose lack of hope.
Nearly gone I whisper your name.
I hope for an answer.
None come, no one calls, I have gone.
..
..
(in wake)
..
..
you beat at the cobble stone that rests above my head as you tower over what life lives past my death.
you barely speak only listen.
hoping that somehow, I'll answer what ever question it is that you wanted answered when I was alive.
and the answer is yes. YES. I loved you more in life than I have ever loved anyone and that is why I left you why I forgot you, because better to have loved a portion of you and lost what i had no knowledge of, than to have loved all of you and still loss you. my heart is broken my tears are dry. I have passed and you still cry.

2009-12-02T11:31:00.000-08:00

love him

2009-12-02T11:04:00.000-08:00

your shy, but outgoing.
your timid but very aroused.
you hate the smell of fish but are fascinated by woman.
you find men sick but love me all the same.
you hate cowards but run away from a fight.
damned are the saints, and blessed are the sinners.
and 8 shoots to the heart.
fuck you hate me but i cant stop from making love.
damn I hate you but i just cant give you up.
maybe we should leave and end this now.
wait..
maybe tomorrow cause tonight I'm a bit aroused.
come by at the stroke of 9, i hate the word subtext and cant stand the sound.
I hate it when i cry.
you love it when I scream.
damn baby it just all seems like a dream.

your a crazy bitch with no soul did i ever really know.
you hardly apologize but yet you have me mesmerized.
do your thang, shake it up high.
sounds a bit insane when you take a dive.
honey your a rock&roll star love the bliss cause tonight your my hive.
and I'm your bee, your little honeybee.
cant decide if I should stick with thy.
suck the gold and lick the silver.
my honey you give me a quiver.

hello.

2009-12-02T10:00:00.000-08:00

so i found this special little movie on IFC. and thought....at first.
(okay, another movie about a couple who love each other.) but all of a sudden another woman comes in and they are having a threesome. keep in mind that the sex scenes don't show much here. but it the girlfriend dies leaving the poor boyfriend dismayed. but soon finds happiness in the arms of someone else(a girl) than is walked in on by the dead girlfriends (buzz kill) of a sister
who might have a thing for boyfriend. but soon he does find true love in the arms of the brother of the boyfriend of the girl they were having threesome with. i love happy endings....and I've just read what I wrote and I sound a bit funny. but it truly is amazing not to mention the whole movie is in french, my favorite language.
(p.s. the boyfriend and the boy have sex in another scenes that well left me quite happy, please if you do get the chance, watch this film, it truly is beautiful

found out.

2009-10-27T13:47:00.000-07:00

godd I'm gonna hate myself in the morning only cause I knew much better but I let the sweet poison that is liquor affect my choices.
boys are a true weakness. but I hate it that I cant get over someone, and though he keeps texting me I truly wanna be rid of everything from the past that in reality is not going to help me. yeah, that's what I said. so what is your point.

grrrr. the snow Finally let up and stoped oh so suddenly. and i cant but be happy. thank god it's the weekend already. yeahy. yeahy. oh yes. yeah. it's Halloween tomorrow, and i have the perfect costume.

but anyway wanted to post something before i headed out in the snow. peace l0ove yeah. ;]

great great.

2009-10-14T13:16:00.000-07:00

nothing more than I video filled with bright neons, metalic golds and a near 80's vibe to get you dancing.
god I love it.

me.

2009-10-09T16:14:00.000-07:00

hope you like.

fireflies in the field at dusk

2009-10-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

soft blankets on a cold empty bed.
ready lips wishing to speak words never said.
a dark room SO familiar to both of us.
I didn't stop you, so i was left in the dust,
a black hole constantly between us,
my love there never really was any trust.
and If you leave and gods knows you must.
don't forget the fireflies in the field that we watched at dusk.
and how close you held on for every second.
and how the days fell bye,
and the birds sang.
the songs that made me cry.
and who much tighter, you held on and whispered on in my ear.
frankly I truly love you much more than I dare to say.
and how frankly every tear you shed I myself will wipe away.
cause your heart and all of it's content is my own heart and it's content for we are one, now and nothing more.
to bad you forgot and wont right through that door.
And as you left I gently said remember the fireflies in the field that might just be dead.
.thank you.

feeling quit under the stream.

2009-10-06T14:32:00.000-07:00

jumping off the end of the diving bored of insanity.
doubting how much jelly, it takes for you to give me a cavity.
whistling a tone that rarely has a rhythm, but I whistle it anyway cause I know it annoys the crap outta you.
I do things that might upset, you.
but never really mean to.
you kinda made a pass at me, and now your doubting your own sexuality.
you laugh very annoyingly, but I don't mind cause I'm, just as drunk.
random thing I think off while you kiss my neck.
like the number off empty cans of monster lie on the bed of your car.
"lets go to Mexico and drink margaritas and sing", is the only thing I make out from the song.
you leave without another word, i take it as you should have hear, the last thing I said...
"I LOVE YOU!"

okay so this is kinda been a out of sync week(s). with work and school. it kinda sucks.
but I might just make it outta this shit hole. of a mess that I have gently piled on myself. SO i have recently been reading the catcher in the rye again. And i should have learned that those types of books, make me restless and when i get restless I get into a wired panicky-paranoid state, and I begin to worry about tyhings that generally pass right by my without even making me feel bad. but lately I just really have no control over my life and it's driving me crazy not to mention that I come home smelling like Mexican food every night, well more like enchiladas every night, yuck, not saying that the food is gross, not don't get me wrong I love(d) mexican food, that was before I started working at lupitas Mexican restaurant. and it sucks cause, I can hardly look at the food anymore.

but I guess that's my life for you one shithole of a day at a time, hopefully I get over this panicky-paranoid thing soon, I dont like when I get like this It kinda scares me sometimes.
but I can manage long enough.
bye love ya. and take care.

P.S. might post another poem, in a bit.

follow up.

2009-09-29T11:04:00.000-07:00

this is the trailers for elvis and anabelle. ;]

also a huge, hug and kiss for el fano. ;]
happy late birthday, sorry but really doing all this on lunch break and gotta head back out there soon, so hope you had a blast and love ya. ;]
enjoy. Muah.

yup. that much is true.

2009-09-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

in progress.

hey wait it only takes the morning.

2009-09-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

your stuck between the damned and the dead.
waiting patiently for whatever is in the end.
you have no name you masked stranger.
come save me you night avenger.
you sweep over me and take my breath.
I inch closer and closer to death.
you tell sweet stories that make me want you.
you say oh come one, my little matthew.
I follow, but I dont know where you lead.
I look at your face, but it's something that I cant read.
I swear that I'm crying, but i cant feel the tears.
I know that I'm scared, but i cant control me fears.
shit, I love you, and you know it. ;]

it based on a super hero. ;]
kinda want one. ;]

just not the right thing to say at the wrong time.

2009-09-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

well god, this really is not the way I wanted to come out on my pictures. ;]

but here you go.

I hate my hair, cause it was go back to black. ;] just kidding brown.(I've dyed it ever kinda blond there is and prefer the dirty blond over them all. ;])

anyway plz. dont laugh at the upsurd chest, It is something that I'm working on,

but cant seem to get it bigger.

god everything that I'm writing is just making me think of realy dirty things that I feel that maybe I should stop, but realy dont want to.

but blah, think i might get ready for work now..seeing as i have nothing better to do, well bye.

you dont think i would say bye wiht out saying how much i love you now did you. ;]

well here goes. I love you. and frankly I dont care who knows it.

muah.

now bye.

extra muah for you, and for you, oh and for you.

bye. now.

Dad-son moment.

2009-09-23T12:54:00.000-07:00

well this is truly eventful,
my dad, decided to give me a ride yesterday for work, (way to cold to walk casue I could not find my yellow mittens)
but, this ride was more like deja-vu rather than anything else.
you see, my the day I decided to come out was a day just like today, and he was taken me to a school game, i would get a ride back with friends.
so than we were driving, (had already come out to my mom a week ago)
so now it was all just down to my father, this could have gone two ways one he could have drive the car off the rode, left me there, or he could have accepted me, will i guess you know which one he picked.
but one a did tell hi it went like this.

DAD) so who you meeting at the game?
ME)um, camster, and David. Why?
DAD)oh, you know you and Camille have been hang out alot lately is she you know..
ME)NO! dad, come on she's my best friend.
DAD)well she is a nice girl and very polite.
ME)still just my friend-[laugh]
DAD)well that David kid seems weird to me, like maybe he could be a little gay.
ME)[gulp] well dad i don't think that's a problem. Do you?
DAD)you know i don't realy care you know, be who you wanna be, shit. I mean I'm no fucking god to be judging anybody I'm not perfect, so what if someone is gay, or straight.
[felling very confident] ME) well dad about that I'm you know...shit! um...
DAD) what is it whats wrong, what you dont trust me or something?
ME)no it's not that its just that well, I dont want you to think anything less of me.
DAD)you know you'll always be my golden boy no matter what. cause I love you and nothing will change that so is it important.
ME)yes.
DAD)well..what is it?
ME)well Dad I'm gay..
DAD)that's it uh?
ME)what?
DAD)you make it sound like your dying.
ME)...
DAD)well, if it took you this long to tell me, I might think you dont trust me.
ME)....
DAD)I just want you to know that I love you and care for you and jsut be careful okay?
ME)um...
DAD)I love you.
ME)me too.
than drops me off and leaves without saying another word that was that. he not once stoped driving or anything. and it's actualy never been wierd between us.

but I just wanted to say this cuase I guess for me it really was not that hard and i'm glad my dad loves me. and cares for me.
i just wanted to say that I love you guys to.
muah.
and take care.

best cold day.

2009-09-22T12:47:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is only a dream.
forever was only a thought.
yesterday is never the answer.
oh baby i think you might have forgot.
but today is only history.
because I plan on making a memory.
so forget whatever they taught you.
cause ol' Mattie's got you.
fashion mags and old cigarette butts.
make the time I spend with you all the more fun.
So soak up what little sun, is visible.
drain that essence in that cup, and stop being so miserable.
cause you only live once or in my case your only living if it's for fashion. ;]

anyway this poem is my advice to any who on a cold day like today find themselves in a rut. have some fun and don't give up, cause it might surprise you what you find hidden underneath all the grime.
have a blast and shake your ass, lift it high into the sky, dance and sing, give a little ring to all your loved ones and make the best cold day ever imaginable.
mauh.

Elvis and anabelle

2009-09-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

Elvis Moreau (Max Minghella) runs the Moreau Funeral Home, having undertaken the duties of embalming and setting up funerals in lieu of his father, Charlie (Joe Mantegna), who has slowly been losing his lucidity after his wife's death.
Driving to the store one afternoon, Elvis meets a small-town beauty queen taking pictures with her family on the side of road. He watches her and is attracted to her. While her mother (Mary Steenburgen) remarks that Elvis watching them was creepy, Anabelle Leigh (Blake Lively) feels strangely different about it.
Elvis spends his time concocting stories and reading them to his father, who enjoys his stories but who is worried about Elvis. He constantly urges his son to go out and seek women to date, to get a girlfriend and have children of his own, as he won't live forever. Elvis is reluctant to do any of that and reacts quietly, immediately leaving the room.
Groomed by her mother, a previous Miss Texas Rose winner, Anabelle is on the road to winning the Miss Texas Rose tiara. Anabelle lives by all the decisions her mother has made for her but is also dissatisfied with her body, and she begins to display signs of bulimia. At one point, it is inferred that Anabelle's stepfather, Jimmy, may have molested her, as she feels uncomfortable around him and is reluctant to have any form of physical contact with him. Once he leaves the room, she heads out into the balcony and stares down to the parking lot, implying that she might be thinking about suicide.
She ultimately wins the competition and is crowned Miss Texas Rose. During her moment of triumph, however, Anabelle dies of cardiac arrest brought on by her eating disorder. Her grief-stricken parents are stunned at her death but decide that they want her to be buried "beautiful" and visit the Moreau Funeral Home. Elvis greets them and goes throught the burial procedures with them.
When he receives Anabelle's body, Elvis recognizes her as Miss Texas Rose, having seen her win and her death on television as he was putting his father to bed. He is oddly attracted to her natural beauty and kisses her, setting the camera's timer off and photographing himself kissing the corpse. Suddenly, the windows blow open and as he turns to close the windows, Anabelle's body springs upright, with Anabelle coughing and returning to life. A stunned Elvis checks her pulse and finds her alive, frantically calling 9-11. Anabelle is taken away to the hospital, her miraculous recovery sparking a media frenzy.
Elvis, afraid of revealing that he was the one to see Anabelle resurrect since he doesn't have an embalming license, tells his father to tell the media that he was the one to see Anabelle resurrected. Charlie does so and Anabelle's story becomes front page news. Quickly, Anabelle's mother begins to enjoy the attention and sets her daughter up for interviews with local and national media, without consulting Anabelle first. Amid the media attention, Annabelle realizes that she has never really lived her own life. She is also haunted by her "rebirth," having strange recollections of someone leaning over her before she woke up at the funeral home, unaware that it is Elvis who she sees.
Obsessing over her resurrection, she decides to meet Charlie and ask him about how she woke up. When she arrives at the Moreau Funeral Home, Elvis meets her, refusing her to meet his father or seeing where the embalmings take place. Later on that night, she breaks into Elvis' funeral home and lies on the embalming table, trying to rekindle the memories that haunt her. Elvis finds her, mistaking her for an intruder. He then tells her that this was the place where she was embalmed and resurrected. She then meets Charlie and Elvis tells him to tell Anabelle what happened. Anabelle spends the night and the next morning in their house and decides to stay around with Elvis as she doesn't want to go home and face her family or anyone else, wanting only to "disappear". She develops a friendly rapport with Charlie and Elvis, who is obviously smitten with her but is unable to act upon his feelings.
She asks Charlie about her resurrection and, each time he tells the story, it changes a bit. She grows confused as to how he can have differing stories but Elvis stops her from asking Charlie anymore questions. Living with them, she fills up her time by painting the "scary" house that Elvis and Charlie live in, joined by Elvis after a day or two. Her mother, noticing her gone, reports her missing, putting Anabelle's disappearance on high alert and angering Anabelle who decides to just continue living with the Moreaus. She decides to plant something in the neighboring field, ignoring the protests of Elvis and Charlie who insists that nothing ever grows there. Contemplating the dry land, she asks Elvis to take her into town and he agrees, where she tries her best to go incognito while visiting the plant store, and upon leaving it sees her stepfather in town with the local sheriff. Unfortunately, her comments about being Charlie's niece sparks interest in the salesclerk and he reports her to the local sheriff.
As she is out in the field working the tractor to plow the land, the sheriff appears and asks Charlie about the boy in the middle of the field. Charlie replies that he is a hired hand and after he leaves, Elvis confronts Anabelle about her staying with them. He is worried that if she is found on their property, he and Charlie will be arrested. Anabelle tells him that if he wants her to leave, he should tell her so but he decides against it, unable to bear the thought of Anabelle leaving. Later that evening, his father asks Elvis if he's going to leave with Anabelle, that he approves and that they can move out together.
Their friendship grows deeper and Anabelle invites him to go for an evening walk, ending the night sitting on a local bridge and talking about their parents. Elvis reveals to Anabelle that his mother committed suicide when he was 12 on the very same bridge they are lying on. Anabelle also reveals that now she sees that through all the terrible things that have happened, she now believes that miraculous things happen too. As Elvis leans over to kiss her, Anabelle recoils, as she feels a sense of deja vu, from the night that he kissed her corpse. Elvis feels hurt but disguises it with bitterness, and Anabelle does her best to apologize. When they walk home, they arrive to see the local police questioning Charlie again. Charlie tells the police a fake story, leading them on a wild goose chase. Charlie urges Elvis to leave with Anabelle. Elvis hesitates but is reassured by his father that he will be fine.
Anabelle and Elvis leave, arriving in South Padre Island, where Anabelle locks him out on the beach, making him apologize for his former bitterness and promise to keep in contact with her. Elvis apologizes and their relationship quickly escalates into a romance.
During this time, Anabelle's mother is distraught over her daughter's disappearance and visits the funeral home, finding Anabelle's clothes, a photo album full of pictures of corpses that Elvis has taken and, after some digging, coming upon a photograph of Elvis kissing her daughter's corpse in the trash. Shocked, she calls the police but is surprised by Charlie, who asks who she is. She doesn't answer him, instead, tells the police what happened.
The news makes the front page, where Anabelle sees the picture while stopping at a gas station. Before Elvis can explain what happened, the police arrive at the gas station and arrest Elvis, leading Anabelle away. Elvis is accused of being a necrophiliac bringing into question if he has done anything to any of the other corpses embalmed in his father's mortuary. He denies doing anything to anyone, revealing that him kissing Anabelle's body was the first impropriety.
Anabelle is now hounded by the media and grows despondent and depressed over what Elvis may have done. Even with that betrayal, she suddenly realizes that it was Elvis whom she remembers in her flashbacks. She visits him in jail, asking him for the truth and what happened when she came back to life. Elvis is flippant and she reveals to him that she has dropped all the charges so he can go home and take care of his father. He asks her why she cares about his father, with Anabelle replying that she thinks Elvis is a good man but that he needs help to realize it. He accuses her of analyzing him without actually knowing what has happened to him. She replies that while he has been hurt, he needs to move past it and learn to forgive, like she has. As Anabelle proceeds to leave the cell, Elvis finally reveals that he kissed her, that that was the only time he did anything like that and that he didn't tell her for fear that he might end up in jail. He also, finally, reveals that he was the one who saw her come back to life. Anabelle sadly tells him that even after all that has happened, that it is sad that he still doesn't believe in miracles and that he may be right. She then leaves.
Finally freed, he takes a cab home, thinking about Anabelle and Charlie. Once he arrives home, he is hounded by the media and ignores them. He looks upon the golf course he has created for his father and notices a red umbrella tumbling across the lawn in the rain. He runs over and finds his father on the grass, having collapsed after playing a perfect game of golf in the rain. Elvis cries for help and his father is wheeled away by paramedics, dead.
Elvis embalms Charlie and sets up a wake for him in the house. Sensing that his life holds no purpose any longer, he decides to hang himself. Unbeknownst to him, Anabelle has decided to kill herself too, deciding to electrocute herself in her bathtub with a television, where she is watching the news.
After creating a noose, Elvis drags up a chair to the noose and slips his head inside. While contemplating his suicide, the attic windows blow open, reminiscent of the way that they did before Anabelle's resurrection, and he turns to see a field of sunflowers that Anabelle has planted in full bloom. While looking at the field, he accidentally kicks the chair away and begins to choke as he struggles with the noose. Elvis is now resolved to live and fights to stay conscious while trying to drag the chair closer to him. Eventually, Elvis straightens the chair and slips his head out of the noose, collapsing to the floor and gulping for air.
Anabelle, on the other hand, submerges herself in the bath tub, watching the television she has placed next to the tub. She begins to inch the television closer to the tub with her foot, waiting for it to fall into the water. While inching the television closer to the water, she pauses once she sees a news break revealing Elvis. He is outside his house, painting a message on the side of it telling Anabelle that he loves her. She abruptly gets out of the tub and gets dressed, heading to the field of sunflowers.
Finding Elvis lying in the middle of the field, she jokingly asks him what he's doing. Elvis replies that he's probably waiting for her and Anabelle lies next to him. Elvis tells her she's the most beautiful thing in his life and they stare out into the sky in each others arms.

(already netflixed it) ;]

well, um.. very speechless.

2009-09-22T11:01:00.000-07:00

well I was given this award by a masquerade uncovered, thank you.

but I can honestly say that I'm not sure what exactly to say. I'm at a total loss here.

but I guess here goes.

Here are the rules: “The Honest Scrap” award is not one to hold all to your self but it must be shared! The recipient has to tell 10 true things about themselves in their blog that no one else knows. The recipient has to pass along this prestigious award to 10 more bloggers. Those 10 bloggers all have to be notified they have been given this award. Those 10 bloggers should link back to the blog that awarded them.
10 true things about myself: [thank to Emily;)]

I love french toast with lots of syrup(I mean lots)

I used to walk around in my moms high heels and necklaces, guess that should have been a sign. ;]

I used to peel my scabs off, cause it felt wired.

I was afraid of mickey mouse, Disneyland when I was 6, scariest moment of my life.

I hate when other people are being really obnoxious in restaurants.

I can stuff my fist in my mouth.

i used to eat chap stick.

I'm addicted to powdered sugar.

I can play twinkle twinkle little star on the saxophone.

I'm attracted to bad boys, dick heads and big a-holes.( trying to change that.)

and thats well me,

and I'm passing this award to

thank you el fano

a masquerade uncovered.

parsian laundry

paddy's blog

iamtheangelnegro

though these are four i havent simply the time or the care for doing the rest yes I might be a little bias, here but these are the ones I really like, soo, thats that.

anyways thank, and check out these blogs for yourself.

happy as a clam,(soup)

2009-09-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

OK so have you ever felt that somehow the world is perfect and the sun cant but help smile entirely upon you??

well as of this moment I do.
and I can tell you teat it's the best feeling it's better than a high, or even a natural high.
cause it just makes you know that somehow no matter what else happens that day, whether good, or bad, you know it wont affect what happened, to make you feel this great.

well that's all that I can actually say, but just know that I am super happy and nothing is gonna change that. also I want to say thank you readers and commenter cause your opinions are great and so is what you say.

and I truly love you, yes I really do, thank you, muah. and hope your day is just as great if not better.

commence with it than.

2009-09-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

okay since my poems are rather not coming to me i thought i would try to quickly come up with one.

you stare but not at me.
you talk, but not indiscreetly.
you smile, but it belongs to someone else.
you love, but it is cherished by someone else.
I cry but your not there to wipe them away, and to tell me that things will be better than okay.
I need you but I cant seem to recall the last time I saw you.
so i will look, look for my knight in shinning armor, to find him and stop weeping for whatever i had before him.

hope you guys like it.

forget these as well.

2009-09-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

this was my way of releasing my G.G excitement, i say the energy method put to use releasing all my energy into baking, very proud of my self.

lovein this day, ;]

2009-09-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

aquarium was the best part of the day, had alot of fun.

rachel was the best partner to attend it with.

my gang has grown up since.

2009-09-15T12:25:00.000-07:00

they have notonly grown up but also they have changed there sexy little looks, yup my babies are all grown up now, it can be seen in there style selection, which I must say is the best thing in the world, cant wait til next monday. yeck I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl on crack. haha.
love it, love them, i'm totaly happy at this moment and nothing is gona change that. cause today I actualy did my hair for no reason.

p.s. did I mention that i love them, the show and there style?

oh wait of course i did. ;]

muuuuuuuuuuuuah. love you guys.

and of course you fellow readers of this insane gay boys blog.

love you too. muuah. muuuuah. muuuuuuuuuah.

omg. the red sonja.

2009-09-15T11:06:00.000-07:00

"Red Sonja" - "Red Sonja" is based on the heroine created by Robert E. Howard and adapted for Marvel Comics by Roy Thomas. The "Red Sonja" character was featured in a movie first in 1985. The 1985"Red Sonja" starred Brigitte Nielsen as the title character and Arnold Schwarzenegger headlined the film.In a dingy tavern, a woman posing as a harlot brutally murders the warrior who just hired her. She rips a distinctive amulet off his necklace. Before she's able to escape, the group of soldiers recognize her: the wanted outlaw Red Sonja. They attack - but they're no match for this flame haired whirling dervish of steel. She takes them all out and then rides off into the woods...Years earlier, we find Sonja as an innocent teenager living in Western Hykania. While sparring with her childhood sweetheart, Cryus, a group of marauders ride into town. Her entire family is butchered before her eyes. The brutes - each of whom wear the familiar amulet (among them, the warrior from the tavern - then turn their attention to young Sonja, savagely raping her. Left for dead, Sonja awakens to pure devastation. Her village has been burned to the ground, the corpses of her friends and family are strewn about the wreckage. Barely alive, Sonja crawls through the countryside until she can no longer move. Deciding to end her own life she jumps from a cliff to a river below. But somehow her fall is magically slowed. She lands underwater where she meets the mystical Red Goddess, who tells Sonja she will become a powerful warrior, the Goddesses' Blade Of Justice.Sonja awakens in the camp of Ozzyus, a thief and warrior, the man who is to become her mentor. Here Sonja wins over Ozzyus's band of rogues with her tenacity and heart. She begs Ozzyus to train her, as she wants to exact her revenge on those who destroyed her family. Sonja immediately shows supreme natural ability in fighting. Time passes. Sonja's skills become formidable and eventually she joins the band on several robberies, finally killing a nobleman. Knowing now she's a wanted criminal, she decides it is time to leave Ozzyus - and to seek her vengeance on the five men who killed her family.Flash forward again, and Sonja is bathing in a forest brook when a man sneaks up on her. She quickly has her blade to his throat when she realizes this man is Cyrus, who begs Sonja to join his fight against the villanous Kulan Gath. Sonja refuses. In the town of Shadizar, Sonja fights her way to the next member of the band who killed her family, Theron. Before she kills him Theron tells her that her own father worked for Kulan Gath and that is why they came to her town. Sonja is captured and sent to the gallows, only to be rescued by Ozzyus, who was on his way to meet Cyrus and join his rebel army. No sooner than Sonja agrees to fight Gath, Cyrus is kidnapped by Gath's men. Sonja tracks Gath's henchmen into the mines under the temple city of Pah Disha, rescues Cyrus and they discover an underground temple, built by thousands of Hykanian slaves in which Kulan Gath plans to harness heavenly powers and become as a God to rule the world with an iron fist. Sonja and Cyrus know they must stop this before it happens, thus setting up a final epic battle between good and evil. STARRING: Rose McGowanDIRECTOR: Douglas AarniokoskiSTUDIO: Millennium FilmsRATING: R (For violence, nudity, adult situations) THEATER COUNT (Opening Weekend): TBDRUNNING TIME:TBDTOTAL DOMESTIC BOX OFFICE: TBD U.S. DVD RELEASE DATE: TBD

gossip girl. wtf wtf wtf! ;]

2009-09-15T09:29:00.000-07:00

okay I dont know if or when I will stop smilin' cause at this point i really doubt that i can Listening to good girls go bad, leighton meester I love you, anyway, as I was sayinbg gossip girl aired just last night and I was waiting the entire weekend to really post something worth while and this was it. i feel like im gona pass out, and there is no one around to catch me, oh how sad. but what ever I can get over it, and as I watched last night my brother looked at me with the strangest look he could have ever given me than sad, If I did'nt know that you were gay before I swear this would diffenatly be a big red flag. than we laughed and surprisingly he watched with me. so sweet and whence it was over sad you know that really hot blonde one(serena) and I was like yeah? i'd do her.

anyway had to post this love you all gotta watch kanye be a dick to taylor so sad.
love ya. muah.

i got my greed little hands on it.

2009-09-11T11:12:00.000-07:00

finaly got my hands on my fix, haha. just kidding though i believe that i'm starting to become a fashion junkie.

sleepover is a nightmare.

2009-09-08T12:35:00.000-07:00

my little brother had a few friends over the other day cause he had an early birthday party.
cause on his brithday we plan on camping out.
well it totaly sucked.
first the kids, were extremly loud and annoying.
they had cake. icecream and little cesars pizza.
they were on the computer unitl 4 in the morning so i really didnt get to blog that day.
but what was the highlight of that night was when i went to check what was it that they need to be looking up until 4 in the morning, waas beyond hilarious.
maybe you can guess what a bumch of 8 year olds would be looking up??
but enough about that, cause now there is nobody home and i kinda boered so i posted this story.
bye.

the many faces..

2009-09-08T11:53:00.000-07:00

she has such a fun young hip stlye. love it.

claro.

2009-09-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

Ur looking at me with that crazy smile and your making me really wanna stay for a while.
look at my eyes they've gone crazy for you, it's alright if want me two.
go ahead by my medication, cause baby I'm a word genius look at my alliteration.
okay okay, i'll admit, come on come on baby just sit.
hold me close oh, baby hold me near.
cause losing you is my only fear.
your perfect i love you.
come on baby you can love me two.

well it clearly is perfect. how perfect it really is.

2009-09-02T10:12:00.000-07:00

well. I'm truly feelin much better, well some what much better. the cracks in my heart are filled with peanut-butter.
(thank god to mall cop) which I ironically just barely watched last nite)
my Little brother asked my mom to go and get it from mickey-d's and that was last night along with my dad at the dinner table tellin' us
(me and my mom, my little brother, kinda drifted toward the t.v. to eat.)
but anyway he was tellin us that some guy at work getr the craziest call..
somethin about him committing suicide.
I was the most shocked and I dont know why I know about hell I've know people who've done it but that simple act. makes me feel really wired. maybe it's cause death is very uncomfortable subject for me. I dont really like to talk about. even know as I'm remembering that whole conversation it's givin me goosebumps.
but, let me change the subject. the pics below are some very special guys that are extremly HOT!!!
so please i warn you you might get a little steamy, if you loot at them! ;]
there from OUT.com I believe the name speaks for it's self! ;]
anyway. Enjoy!

none

2009-09-01T12:35:00.000-07:00

baby, that what I'll say to make seem that I'm in control when really I'm shitin' it
I wanna feel your lips they taste like fire,
your skin is like a drug, it makes my go higher.
while i listen to my favorite tunes, you look at me and smile.
my, heart goes all a flutter.
you sometimes even make me stutter.
my was full, it could.ve burst.
but than sadly came the worst.
you left me alone.
I always followed you around like a mindless drone.
now I know better, I gonna love someone who can love me forever.

bad but it got much better.

2009-09-01T12:12:00.000-07:00

so today started a bit slow the weather was *um-average
the sun had yet to come up I did.nt feel like showering or pretty much anything. so i got on my xbox and played a meaningless PAC-man *high scorer is my little brother* and got bored than head down stairs to find my mom still hadn't left locking panicky and desperate to find her keys..she took one look at me and said.. what the hell happened to you?? you look like you.ve been hit by a track, than went on about my hair being way way to long my scruff yes final it started to grow made my look gross and i was in some red briefs that showed way to much of my business..i chuckled and she said make sure you decide to do something of yourself today!!
so i went back up stairs surfed the Internet for fall fashions looked at vogue magazines (i only have two) than my vanity fair(only one) and got on here and look up Adam senn, also my one true love!! ;]
so and way forgive if the post seem a bit dull but I'm dealing with a super nasty illness, heartbreak! ;/
but I'm moving on one hot model at a time.
haha..
i.ll maybe post a poem next.

im in love!

2009-09-01T11:37:00.000-07:00

not much to be said is there?? ;]

kill me for conforming

2009-08-07T12:17:00.000-07:00

but. found the couple i would love to be with.

and theres the proof!! ;]

welcome back mr. murdock.

2009-08-07T12:01:00.000-07:00

well, if the world was my oyster I wold be your Pearl.

lets dance like if our feet were broke.

and lets sing like if we were deaf.

casuse baby all I wanna be, is myself when I'm with you.

sikly and messed up.

2009-06-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

mylittle broter is totaly tiwisted and hes only seven going on eight. ;]
and I´ve gotten the haNG OF THE KEYPAD WAAAAYYYYY MORE. ;]
anyway. anyway. u c there are things you see/hear that you nevcer talk about. and than tere are things that you do. seeing a man naked (old) is one of them. were stating at a holiday inn. and it has a pool. and well my brother saw the old man and was like Oh My Fucking horse shit!! I teach him evderything. ;] that dude is naked. and than he said he matt go get on that ass action.!! yes he does no im gay. but i was soo distracted outta that moment that it felt very weird and strange to be part of that convo. anWAy. it´s late so im head up to my room. god its hot hear.

what makes you better than me?

2009-06-25T10:08:00.001-07:00

well it already 12:00.. hear in montrey. and all i can say is the internet is faster here tahn in the otehr part i was. if you know it let me know.. it´s cvalled camargo or something and near it is the thrid largest lake in mexico or so i was told. anyway since no of these are my computers and i left all my memeories stick at home containing all my computer(i feel like a dumbass). anywho I cant put up these realy cool piccs i took of this "haunted castle" anyway thats about all i can post soo far that and in the time i.ve been here I.ve heard my parents having sex.. yuck. i would make an ugly face but these keys scare me..ha.ha. anyway ther have been a amazingly aqmount of hot sweaty steam amount of sexy men-boys(meant a slash not a dash)..but yeah to bad i havent been able to use my horrible american accent spanish.. smile face. though i do understand everything quite well. my mom is realy good at spanish i had no clue anyway this trip is a great experince except for the whole parents thing, yuck. maybe i should have sex so they can hear me.. and than think twice before they have sx. smile face.
anyway i love you all. have a grrrreat week. (tony the tiger= .smile face. but yeah....muuuuuah!!

dumb founded by the best.

2009-06-22T19:03:00.000-07:00

dumb foundeed by the best. a title that makes me laugh out loud I guess I have to hurry cause it.s really busy in this shit sahack and I need to hurry I.m in mexico and using the internet in a small library. and im not getting the keyus on the keyboard. and it kind of smells like burnt wood. yuck.. any way I must say it.s kinda wonderful. my family is all down here and its great. but I have to go since i promised i could gop with out this for a whole summer. love you guys bye.

simply put it this way..

2009-05-04T11:25:00.000-07:00

okay this weekended on a rather high note.. ;]
Marcus spent nearly if not the whole weekend with me.[YEAHY]
anyway, he didn't stay the night or anything just the whole day.
we ended up going to the zoo. a bit dull even I admit, especially since I love the zoo, but we just walked around, Like if we were just hanging out like *friends* no holding hands or anything.
but after that we went to see the new X-men movie, also a bit dull.
but at least there we got to hold hands and occasionally he would lean closer to me and say things and would kiss my neck, god that was way better than the whole day.
than he took me home, and we just stayed there in his car talking about a bunch of stupid shit.
but than he surprised me.
he had made me two Santogold&The blow Cd's.[YEAHY]
I would have given something back but unfortunately my mom walked out[usually to smoke her cig, before my little brother goes to bed.]
{the end of Saturday}
anyway, I awoke the next day to find that Camille showed up in her P.J.s
and we ate breakfast.
and watched a bunch of re-runs.
until Marcus called saying that I better be ready. ;(
but I told him who was with me, and he got all sad.
so than he was like well if you want we can just hang out there??
but I was like my family is all here and I really don't want to make you feel awkward or anything.
so he was like okay babe, I'll think about you all day. ;(
anyway that could have ruined my day, until..IT HAPPENED.
I found my greatest purchase
"I'm not there".
I found it while Camille&I cleaned my room. [YEAHY]
we must have watched it for hours.
anyway that was my weekend.
how was yours?? ;]

accidentaly misspelled

2009-05-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

Okay I not one to worry about how late I turn a paper.
but since it's become more and more the end of the year.
it's kinda of important that all of my papers get turned in on time.
well today I had a huge sociology paper due. (It's kinda been due for two weeks now.)
but last night I pulled an all nighter. which was such a bitch to wake up this morning.
but that's a whole other thing.
anyway, so I wrote about racism. and how it has evolved through time.
I was doing that along with I.M. marcus, and talking to camille about my paper.
and I cant remember what I was saying to camille but apparently I ended up writting it on my paper. so my paper said stuff that was like, "OMG, bitch I cant believe that you said that to her, yesterday", and other stuff. also I ended up putting stuff that I was I.M. marcus like "babe, you dont honestly think that I would like something like that". (he wanted to bring me flowers to school.) ;/
but, anyway..so this morning when I revised it, I should have done it last night..I got way to lazy.
but yeah, I was in shock that, that could happen.
so I ended up wasting my morning, re-writting my paper and looking for(errors/mispellings.)
anyway. I both tired and very cranky, so as soon as I get home I'm posting this. no work tonight.

marcus take me far, just take.

2009-04-30T12:13:00.000-07:00

Okay I'm not the kinda of guy that falls in "LOVE".

cause I don't honestly believe that "LOVE" is something real.

and yes I know that "LOVE" is a feeling.

but I don't really say that word, unless I mean it or if I'm forced into saying it.

so when Marcus said "babe, what would you do if I said I love you?"

and like a dumb ass and not saying what I really thought of that word I said

"Honestly, I really don't know, maybe say it back.."

and than he said what I exactly knew what he was going to say.

"Well, I really do love you, you know?". and if I didn't stick my foot in my mouth far enough I said

"Oh really, Marcus I love you too."

I honestly hate that word. but I hate confrontations, especially with the people I'm sharing allot of emotional baggage with. and seeing as we just got outta a huge fight I didn't want to make a huge deal outta this. so I have to put up with it.

I know I should have said, I think "LOVE" is something made up by to people who honestly don't know how to hold on to someone so they say that to stay together.

and (+).

"LOVE" only complicates everything just as soon as you say it, it's like your relationship ends as soon as it leaves your lips.

and another thing as soon as you say it, you forget how to make that person happy.

and all you can do is screw up.

but whatever I feel like I'm not making any sense anyway if you read this and don't get it I honestly don't blame.

I'm just really tired off today, and I'm really waiting for tomorrow's 8Th grade tours of our school.

listening to Katy perry-Use your love
"be under the cover lovers..I just wanna use your love, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight".
sometimes thats all you need. ;]
thanks for your time.
bye.muahhhh. ;]

lets see how far I can get, before you notice me.

2009-04-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

a huge thank you to malemodeluniverse.com

loved those pics.

anyway hope you guys like?

...

2009-04-30T09:11:00.000-07:00

LOVE IT.

craving candi?

2009-04-30T07:37:00.000-07:00

what do you want?

good morning pedro.

2009-04-29T08:36:00.000-07:00

Okay.

so this morning was rather adventurous, ninja skills required morning.
it required both my cunning skills, and my amazing grace. Camii&I wanted some breakfast.
so we went to the front entrance to go to my car and get some comida, but this fat white bitch was like "excuse me, where do you two think your going?"
and forced us back into our commons"cafeteria".
anyway that's when I was like activate super ninja skills.[pashhhaw].

;]

anyway, after that WE walked up the commons and said we were headed toward the bus for pickens.

anyway than we snuck past the "grounds patrol"

and drove to subway. ;]

yummie yummie in my tummy.

anyway that's what happened this morning and after that I thought that today would be great but it totally sucked.
great morning leads to horrible disappointment of a school day.
also Marcus And I fought, and than hot better after some much needed R&R(-) the Rest&relaxation..If you get what I'm saying.

lies make great family moments.

2009-04-28T12:03:00.000-07:00

dear David,

I write this letter to express how much I honestly am sorry that I will not be able to go to work this week/weekend, because of a huge family emergency. my mother was taken to the hospital for a ruptured spline. thank you for understanding I appreciate your kindness as a boss. I really do appreciate it very much.

this was my dad's excuse for not being able to go to work this entire weekend, what the hell.

he always yells at me for calling every now and than to work saying I'm sick.

but I've never dragged another family member, down with me, that's just horrible.

and than when I called him out on it he was all defense.

dad-"I'm your father, and you should not ask my stupid fucking dumb ass questions"

me-"all I said was your lying right outta your ass that it still smells fresh"

dad-"You know I hate cusing in this fucking house, you better learn some damn respect"

me-"did you just fucking cuse, that great fucking parenting no wonder I'm fucked up!"

[smiling the whole time]

dad-"your a little piece of shit, you know that?"

me-"yeah"

..we laughed about it after we were done. great family bonding moment.

anyway, I gotta go see Marcus later in the afternoon, which will kinda suck cause I texted him all angry and shit. I feel really gulity about it though.

I guess I'm gona have to face the music sooner rather than later.

bye.

commonly clear about what I said.

2009-04-28T08:26:00.000-07:00

disrepsectfuly delightful

2009-04-28T07:27:00.000-07:00

clad-fad-had.

loving the pics.

skins.

2009-04-27T12:18:00.000-07:00

the greatest show ever. started watching with Matthew a while back.

cant stop watching it.

great entertainment.

cant wait 'til my own copy comes in the mail.[yeahy]

you dont remember. but you hurt me before.

2009-04-27T11:42:00.000-07:00

you can hardly blame me.

I hold my head under the covers next to you.

my heavy heart is beating at UN-controllable rhythm.

but you just lay there with your perfect self.

I cant recall the last time you should how much you cared about me.

you strip me of everything that I hold near-and-dear.

you say grow up. I say whats wrong with being a kid.

you say don't talk like that. I say I can talk anyway I want.

you say your immature. I say I just have more fun than you.

you say don't cry. I say I cry cause I need you.

you say you don't need me. I say I need you more than you think.

you say don't say I love you.I say I love you.

I say don't leave. you just walk away.

baby your perfect and you know it.

2009-04-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

clearly you haven't found out that charlie stoped texting me last night, thank god.

I doubt that I could take anymore of his creep-O texts, we used to date, [Texas DE Brazil].

ha ha.. anyway.
Marcus&I got into a huge fight over this girl, he calls her crazy, psycho sally, even though that's not her name.

it's Kari, but he says she has a huge crush on me, even though she knows I'm gay.

he can be so f**king stupid, but fighting never seems to work.

cause he is extremely literate.

and he always seems to put me in a place that I honestly don't appreciate at all.

but I love him for that.

I've never been with someone like him.

maybe that's why I "love him so much".

[for the picture above]

your lovely.

your special.

damn, baby your simply perfect and you know it.

how can I show how much I love.

I wipe my hands on your jeans.

lets make it more simple.

cause baby your simply lovely.

great deal of you.

2009-04-23T12:02:00.000-07:00

so I'm not sure but what ever I have is clearly something good.
he made me think about everything that I really need to focus on.
Like myself. and who I am as a person. but other than that. simply making me feel good.
I like that. I like the way he makes me smile like a dork. and I even made him get a blog.
I love it. I love him.

2009-04-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

these shirts are to cool. would love to have some.. ;]

clearly you lied but I can forgive. ;]

2009-04-22T08:30:00.000-07:00

SO. last night was Way too long for a few reasons.
okay. my parent(s). decided that they would throw a little get together with my family.
as if I didn't need another reason as to be pissed. I've been tired since Monday. and all I wanted to do was go to bed. and usually I make fun of the people who go home after school. and sleep.
but yesterday that's all I could think about. I even called in(work). and said "I was sick".
but instead I stayed there talking to the family. grrrr. ;U
but anyway. One thing lead to another and than the fun Q's. became questions about my sexual prefrence. ;¬│...
soo. anyway. thats that.
today is ACT testing and no school for upper classmen. ;)
[yeahy]
okay gonna sleep now.
bye. muuuah.

old habits. never die.

2009-04-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

well, today would, or rather should be pleasent the sun is out the birds are somewhat chirpping.
and everyone seems to be. "happy". but here I am stuck reading a book for english. "fast food nation" great..
I'm totaly pissed, but the only good thing about this is cause we're writting an essay about it for ap english. and I "looking up stuff about the book" haha ;]
im funny. anyway another thing I'm mad about is camille is leaving early. [I.D.K.] why?? ;(
anyway today could be worse It could be snowin again. ;(
I'd be mad at that fact. wow I feel like blah. today which is really wierd for me. cause usually I feel somewhat active everyother day. maybe it was cause I went out last nite"dull" ;(
thats it basicly. anyway. gotta get to work before she checks my computer from hers!! ;]

can-can-ameri(CAN)

2009-04-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

this short was on display outside a clothing store downtown. and i knew that pictures would have to be taken. but than this stupid annoying little woman comes out screaming at me.."hey you boy, buy something or leave." so I left. and I'm never going back there again. stupid bitch just lost a customer. ;]

well, this might work If we try.

2009-04-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

Okay so. this Monday night is officially going to be the best.
for 2 reasons.
1: My dad is letting me take his car out. [YEAHY]
&
2:Camille, is going out with me.
but to where?? well I just got my I.D. today. my mommy texted me..well this means clubbing. [yeahy]. and there s this club called (i believe it's called) the rainbow room. downtown (I.D.K) if it is, or not, but the name don't matter what really matters is that I'm going there and plan on getting/having a great time. (+) Camille is going with me. [YEAHY] ooh. okay. I really gotta calm down before I start to hyperventilate. how I have the whole night planned. but I should'nt say anything more about how tonight is all planned. cause that is just gonna jinx tonight. Listening to santogold-you'll find a way
I gotta focus on my damn work. but I still dont wanna do it. another funny thing about tonight is that camille still has no clue that were going there. I think she dosent even know if we're doing anything tonight. god. I'm soo excited. okay. okay. I gotta work.
love ya.
muuuuuah. bye.

femme fatal's

2009-04-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

Hayley Williams(well, shes perfect.)

-Lady GaGa(luv her)

-Queensbeery(great German group)

-the Saturdays(bright british group)

-Katy perry(Enough said)

-Kate Nash(luv her british style)

-Girls aloud(these dames, are great british group)

never forget where your from.

2009-04-17T12:15:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling like I'm going outta my mind.
I'm having a language overload.
first French. than Spanish. than German. and of course English.
maybe I will become a mute. doubt that very much.
ha ha. god I honestly cant shut up right about now.
maybe it's the fact that it's freaking 4-20.
ha ha. no I'm not high at the moment. though I wish I was.
well. me and my dear friend are through our rough patch. thank god.
um. well. yeah..um. that was a bad/dirty thought that just crossed my mind. well. anyway.
I'm kinda gonna do my assistant work. (wich is simply running around the school pulling people outta class, and stuff, and taken them to the office.) whatever.
muah. bye.
oh, P.S.
-I'll post more in a bit. ;]

we're all a little mad,crazy,& wild

2009-04-17T11:23:00.000-07:00

cant wait.

spike lee, your gonna rock the audience with this little number.

p.s.

-I wish I had a costume like max. ;]

black never looks so good.

2009-04-17T09:50:00.000-07:00

you clearly never thought that the color black never look so damn good.

though, I'm not really into the girls, and would much rather, have boys in the pictures.

I don't mind, cause they are amazingly gorgeous.

loveing you is like cheery-pie.

2009-04-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

our bodies are encased in a grip of what someone looking at "us", would call "=LOVE?"

doubt it though, cause I honestly cant stand when you do that stupid thing with your eyes.

fuck you"Matthew". is all you can muster. my "hearts" not working right that's why it beats weird when your around. what ever "you" say.

I laugh(ha ha.)

It's not like we wanted to make this actually something "true".meaningful.or anything like that. right? wait..why did you pause..you wanna try to make this work??

your such a joke

"I." dont even know what "LOVE" is anyway.

cant stand "you".

cant believe that we actually tried to make something outta this whatever.
just go to bed. and don't forget to "hold my hand while we try to go to sleep" alone.

(in order to decode the mesage just combine the words that are colored the same color.)

monster flakes

2009-04-16T12:29:00.000-07:00

hope you weren't offended.

but I thought they were to cute to ignore.

don't they look ferocious. ;U (rawr.)

retro artificial homecoming

2009-04-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

Hip-hop fly, free, bitch take a sip, not three
he flew to the ground and back to the sky
now all I want is to see you cry, cry, cry ;]
(lyrics from my all time favo homegrown band)
anyway the title is superb. and catchy.
but besides that my day seems semi-mild(meaning good)

only cause today I got checked early for my dentist appointment.

which rocks. but it's kinda simple today other than the dentist.

it's cloudy outside. weatherman said it might snow/rain

god. hope it rains more than snows, cause I hate the snow(it gets messy)

that's kinda ironic seeing as I love Colorado. but whatever.

had fun at prom. but now. i must prepare for the dentista. I've tried to be qua-lingual(4 languages)

bye.

Je m'appelle le fance

2009-04-16T10:21:00.000-07:00

clearly you out wade the flaws to your perfection and your loving it way more than ever

clear and utter maddness at the fashionista campaign

reaching for that small annoying tag in the back of my shirt

2009-04-15T12:37:00.000-07:00

If this was'nt a reason not to have sex for the rest of your life than I dont know what is.
also If your confused about your sexual prefference than this is clearly another good movie to watch..hahah I'm only being funny here, the movie it's self is gory and hould not be watched by the squemish, but it's defo one of my favs.

j'adore le modéles

2009-04-15T11:49:00.000-07:00

thumbnails for the actual neatness of how much it actualy matters to me that I love fashion models. J'aime des modèles français

after school-art class special

2009-04-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

after school-art school special
you clearly haven't been felt up.
what's rock-in-roll without a little groping?
it's still the same just not as sexual duh!
blink twice if you want me, once if I want you and three if you wanna meet in the bathroom right now.
lick your toes & laugh at hoes
yummy bodies ready for touching
I am any one you want me to be
ja'dore le fashion, I wanna play with your disco stick.

after school art class special

genuinely uplifting, sky so fucking high.

can grab a bit of cloud and stuff it in my pocket.

repeating the same mistakes, thinking I can keep you inside my self.

doubt you even know who much of a hold you have on my brain.

oxymoron's-play your cards right, maybe we'll end up with some alone time together.

all bronze no brain, might wanna go for gold next time.

I'll share my soul with you only if you want.

two empty halves don't make a whole unless both halves are willing to.

empty cans of coke, soggy ice cream cones, make my time with you all the more brilliant

baby I fell for you long ago, so don't let me fall.

2009-03-25T12:10:00.000-07:00

simple

cant imagine anything without you

2009-03-25T11:50:00.000-07:00

even troy had a golden horse to make it fall
(me, so emo) ;]

she can do it better, than you ever could

2009-03-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

hello world

2009-03-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

sorry charlie not equal to everything your willing to do for me but I should let you know I'm not gona be here

admireable little things

2009-03-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

clearly charlie needs work but other than that I want me some bridies now..

camille sent them to me and knew that they need to be posted..

so clear, I cant even see

2009-03-25T08:32:00.000-07:00

The truth is hiding in your eyes

And it's hanging on your tongue.

Just boiling in my blood.

But you think that I can't see

What kind of man that you are,

If you're a man at all.

Well, I will figure this one out

On my own.

(I'm screaming, "I love you so.")

On my own.

(My thoughts you can't decode)...

thank you paramore, anyway I'm not actualy stoaked about today, accept for the fact that my camille is back today..

off the rag, but still im kinda mad about last night, I had to work and Im so sick of it the fact that another co-worker started some shit with this prego lady and they got into an arrgument about the fucking popcorn!! like what shit is that I mean come it's crappy ass popcorn that would only taste decent if you were in a state of drunkness..

anyway Im so over this fact, I'm also extrmely happy over the fact that I'm actualy gona get high all spring break ;], it kinda funny I weigh about 145 or something a little less but, I can eat about a million things and could never go over that!! Why?? I dont know, but camille is like totaly mad about that fact, God I need a drink about now! and a man would'nt be a bada iidea either anyway I should probably do my work bye

soo im not sure!! ;]

2009-03-23T11:46:00.000-07:00

okay so, lets just say today was well bleak and kinda more bid with a bit of funny in it!!
i left third period(Ap chemistry) for the fact I need my transcript for college! ;]
yes my last year in a roral near all white student population filled school.
anyway I jsut recantly started for the fact that my bitch of a friend ;]
(i say that in the nicest way possible) was like you have some of the greatest stories ever you should blog about them!! ;]
whatever, anyway im kinda tired since the fact that I hardly sleep anymore and I barely eat and I smoke and drink, so I guess my life on this planet is less than the next person , but dont ask me to stop casue I love it way more than I love anything(even more than boys) ;]
and thats hard for me casue I love boys!! ;]
yup Im gay, but I dont care what "YOU" think of me if you like me or not I honestly dont care!! ;]
anyway back to my story soo when I got out class this girl went off of this poor boy simply over the fact that he bumped into her, anyway shes yelling at him, than he goes like out of no where he simply tells her your not even that hot!! ;]
omg, are you serious this girl is one of the hotter girls in our school!! ;]
funny stuff anyway thats basicly it nothing more nothing less! ;]